Divorce – The Last Resort?

Marriage is considered to be ‘divine’ but the present day generation seems to have overlooked this divinity, particularly in the UK; where the divorce rate is significantly high. The UK, being a developed country where each individual seems to be more independent emotionally and financially, and where the risk of separation is higher because they can always find another solution; possibly to marry again. When two people get join in Holy wedlock there seems to be little appreciation of family values and they get engrossed so much in the hustle and bustle of life that they fail to empathize with each other, which results in divorce. This can eventually lead to the Law of divorce being brought in to handle extreme cases like harassment, addictions, psychological issues and so on.

Considering the statistics of divorce cases in the UK the number of divorce cases is primarily because of extra marital affairs. Problems arise out of not accepting a partner unconditionally. Questions such as, ‘What did I do wrong?’ or ‘He didn’t live up to her expectations?’ A more constructive measure would have been to think about how the relationship could succeed as a couple rather than as individuals. Ultimately, the foundation on which family can be built is on love. Love results in accepting a person unconditionally which leads to trust. When there is trust it leads to endurance of problems together rather individually and togetherness is the greatest strength.

Having focused on familial values and the foundation on which relationships need to be built, there are some practical ‘give-and-takes’ that need to be done to carry on a happy life, for instance, providing support and time for your children together as a family. There are so many families which break up because of children. It is misconstrued as the responsibility of mothers to take care of children and for fathers to mind their own business. In today fast-paced lifestyle where there is a necessity for both the parents to earn in order to maintain a decent life style, these misconceptions have to be removed. The time that we spend with our children during their childhood is a great investment, which shows a return on that investment during the later part of your life.  

Extra marital affairs are a common problem in today’s society in both the east and west, whereby a person searches for a lover outside the marriage when their relationship fails. The reasons could be many. Often, a partner may feel resentful by the fact that their contribution to the family is not appreciated and they look for a sympathizer outside the marriage, hoping that the rest of life with a new partner is all a bed of roses.

Life is not a blame game and it is not possible to mould people in a particular way. Happiness lies within and it cannot end with one person and start with another. The solution to such issues lies in counselling the couple before marriage. Most Christian churches have already started counselling session before marriage. It is all the more alarming to note that divorce cases are highest among Christian couples.  

Having mentioned the root cause of impaired relationships, its impact and possible solution, it’s worth considering that any solution can only work if both partners want to carry on the relationship. There cannot be any Law which can either reduce or increase divorce cases. Therefore, law makers should look at divorce as something to be used as a last resort.

Article: Divorce – The Last Resort?

Created on: 2007-06-21 10:09:31