Marriage is a very special occasion that everyone looks forward to with eagerness. From their teenage years onwards, youngsters dream about getting married and wistfully try to imagine the kind of spouse they want to spend the rest of their lives with. When two people get married, it is the start of a new journey that is full of hopes and expectations. Husband and wife working together as a team are better suited to face the life’s challenges and ups and downs rather than as separate individuals.
The married partners are expected to help and support each other and combine their resources to better their social status. Children make the family complete and it is the couple’s duty to provide them a nurturing and affectionate atmosphere where they can thrive and grow into healthy adults.
Time was when marriage was supposed to last as long as one lived and life partners were supposed to be lifelong partners. Not any more! There has been a sea change in social attitudes and divorce has got wide acceptability. Nobody raises eyebrows any longer at single mothers or fathers bringing up children alone. Women have become educated and liberated and are not scared of separating from their spouses and living and earning on their own.
But why would someone who got married with so much expectation and eagerness want to divorce in the first place? Sad as it may sound, this is a trend that is increasing and the divorce rate over the decades has shot up to an all-time high. There are many reasons for this. Society has become more individualistic and liberal.
The focus has shifted to personal rights instead of conforming to social norms and expectations and, therefore, not many people are today willing to submit to years of emotional or physical abuse to sustain the relationship. Extramarital affairs, boredom with the spouse, drifting apart emotionally and lack of intimacy are other big reasons why people go for divorce.
Once you have crossed the Rubicon and decided to file for divorce, there is a certain procedure that has to be followed. (Remember – you need to be married for at least one year to be able to file for it.) The very first step is to fill up a form called a petition that is available from any solicitor. It can also be downloaded from the HM Court Services website. In the petition, you have to explain the reason why you want a divorce.
According to the law, to grant you a divorce the court first has to be satisfied that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and is beyond salvage. There are five grounds which, if proved, will convince the judge about your marriage having gone over the point of no return – bad behaviour of your spouse, infidelity (sex with another person), your spouse has deserted you for at least two years, both of you are living separately for two years and agree for divorce, and both of you are living separately for five years whether the other partner agrees to a divorce or not.
Once you have filed the petition in the court, it will be served to your partner who has to respond to it in a given time frame. If he or she agrees with you about the breakup of the marriage, the court will quickly see that all the arrangements regarding the children are fine and grant the divorce without much delay. If the partner wants to contest the charges and arrangements, then the court will hear both sides and pass a judgement.
The first decree to be granted by the court toward the actual divorce is called “decree nisi.” About six weeks later, the final decree is granted, called the “decree absolute.” With this, the partners become uncoupled, the marriage dies and the two are free to remarry again, if they so wish. The whole procedure doesn’t take longer than a couple of months.
Before actually starting legal proceedings, if the partners agree to part company amicably and come to an understanding on issues like child custody, division of assets and maintenance, then the divorce process becomes quite simple. Dozens of companies today exist which through their websites offer uncontested divorces to such couples. All the legal forms can be downloaded, filled up and posted to their offices, which then deposit them in the court. The clients can get uncontested divorce sitting right in their homes – and without ever having to visit a court – at very competitive rates.
If there is a dispute among the partners about issues like division of marital assets, child custody or maintenance, they have to fight it out in the court. It is advisable in such cases to hire solicitors to represent the partners. The contested divorces may drag on and turn out to be quite expensive since high-street solicitors usually charge by the hour. Note: it is worth checking whether you are eligible for legal aid.
