While going through crucial stages of divorce, the most important issue to be taken care of is the negative influence that it could have on your children. These negative impacts are classified into short term impacts and long term impacts. Apart from these, divorce could also serve as a threat to your children in different ways. Once you determine the specific problems that your child is facing, it becomes easier to address them.
Dangers of Divorce on a Child’s Life
In order to provide you with a clear idea, the impacts and the possible threats of a divorce are discussed below:
Gender Matters
In majority of the cases mothers are awarded custody. This might have an adverse effect on a male child more due to the absence of a same-gender role model for the child.
Age Factor
Younger children are more inclined to be affected by divorce. The reason for this is the confusion caused by divorce on their young minds. Young children might not be able to completely understand what is going on around them.
Financial Status
Change in the standard of living might affect children. Decrease in inflow of money due to divorce could result in inability to meet children’s needs.
Fear of Losing Non-Custodial Parent
Extra care should be taken to ensure that the relationship between your child and the non custodial parent to avoid making the child feel abandoned.
Children Witnessing Conflicts
Children are subjected to frustration and their emotional turmoil increases as a result of witnessing conflicts between parents. Hence it is good to avoid this situation completely. It is important for couples to be able to differentiate their roles as a spouse and a parent to avoid jeopardising the child’s future.
Short Term Impacts
Every child in a family is affected at least to some extent due to divorce. There are a few adverse effects that appear in children immediately after the separation of the couple. Other undesirable effects emerge during the first few years of divorce but later decline gradually.
There are innumerable factors that cause negative impacts on children. Possibility of progressive disengagement of non custodial parent over the years could affect children emotionally. Researches reveal that children tend to face more problems while being in the custody of parent of opposite sex. As stated earlier inter-parental quarrels play a powerful role in affecting children mentally.
Some of the short term effects of divorce on children are as follows:
- Depression
- Impulsivity
- Opposition
- Anger
- Sadness
- Interpersonal conflict
- Financial Hardship
- Aggression
- Sadness
- Increase in dependency
- Lower academic achievement
Long Term Impacts
Though most of the young adults claim that they regard the decision of their parents to be wise, they remain critical of them for committing the mistake of a misguided wedding. They even believe that the mistake should have been rectified before their birth.
These children are subjected to problems that could affect the quality of their life .As these youngsters enter the phase of adulthood, memories regarding their separated parents arise. This might cause anxiety, fear of betrayal, rejection and abandonment. There is also the possibility of delinquent behaviours, low life satisfaction, less trust in future spouse, fear of intimacy and commitment and early sexual experience.
Help Your Children Cope With Divorce
It is important to reassure your child that she is still loved by the parents in spite of the divorce. The child should be made to realise that lack of love between the couple can have no effect on them.
Some children might be under the misconception that they are responsible for the separation. Such misconception should be completely eliminated. Not making any changes in your child’s neighbourhood and school also could help to an extent.
As your child needs both parents the visit of non custodial parent should not be restricted unless the non custodial parent holds a record of child abuse. The child should also realise that there will be no hindrance in the relationship between him and the non custodial parent.
At the time of divorce, children might go through a lot of changes like lack of sleep, emotional breakdown etc. Help your children express their feelings. Not all children are likely to experience every problem stated above. Observe your child to know what they feel. This understanding can go a long way in helping you identify the problem early and provide them with the best support possible. After all, is it not unfair to make your children suffer for their parent’s mistakes?
