The most common area of conflict in contested divorces in the UK continues to be child custody. Maintenance is still the most debated matter in celebrity and in ‘budget’ divorces alike. The child is the most tangible ‘product’ of the partnership between the two spouses. All of us like to dream of immortality – and the child is a fruit of our desire to leave a part of ourselves behind on earth – a part that contains the seeds of life just like us. Be it a doll, or an icon of God, we like to create an image of ourselves everywhere, and the child is the greatest manifestation of this tendency of the human race to continue itself through generations. Almost all creatures have nurturing instincts about their young, but in the case of man, the instincts are very complicated and heavily laced with other vested interests.
What Happens After a Divorce?
One of the first things that need to be decided in the course of the process of the divorce is what would happen to the child of the marriage. If there are other children out of marriage, the rules become more complicated, and the process takes longer too. There are two ways of tackling child custody.
- Single Custody and Visitation: One parent keeps the child with him or her. The other parent is allowed to visit the child, phone or mail him or her, and even take out the child for trips. The rules vary in each case, and the court decides the factors which will govern, who will win the rights to live with the child (resident parent), and what the non-resident parent is entitled to. The term is being changed to ‘contact’ rather than ‘visitation’ now, thus widening its scope.
- Joint Custody: Here both parents get to keep the child with them for fixed periods of time. Opinions are sharply divided as to the effectiveness of this method. The child may be torn between the two different households and their rules and lifestyles. On the other hand, the child may be happier this way, and miss family life the least. It will depend entirely on the situation, the kind of people the parents are, and the child’s preferences (and the court will always give preference to this first of all).
According to the law, there are certain criteria that a parent has to fulfil in order to win child custody for single parenthood. These are being outlined below:
- The parent should be financially solvent and willing to take care of the child’s education, health, nutrition, regular upkeep and other expenses. For this, it will be checked if he or she has any outstanding loans, a means of income, is on state pension or not, is physically and mentally stable and capable enough. A full investigation into the parent’s financial standing will be carried out by the court officials.
- The parent’s social and moral solvency will also be checked. A criminal record, bad habits, history of drug or substance abuse, alcoholism, tendencies towards vagrancy, will all go against the applicant if they do exist.
- The parent should have the ability and wish to provide suitable housing for the child.
- The child’s relation with the parent in question is of paramount importance. The court may appoint a counsellor to check into this.
On the other hand, maintenance to be paid will be decided on the capacities of the parent concerned and the division of property between them.
Women and Custody
Legally speaking, women are the natural choice as custodian parents only if the child is so small an infant that the mother’s presence is still biologically required. It is a fact that more than 90% of single parents in the UK are women, and most children below the age of five live with the mother after a divorce. There has been a lot of attention given to the rights of fathers lately due to father’s rights groups and activists. They have sometimes resorted to extremist pranks to grab attention, but it is true that this is an area where the laws needed to get cleared. On the other hand, overplaying it is also a danger that is present at large. It is a fact that most parents who have not paid up maintenance are males. But it would be grossly unfair to judge either a father or mother as a ‘better’ parent (unless the rights concern a baby) on the grounds of sex. The child’s opinion is the most important factor, and the court recognizes that too.
