Are marriages made in Heaven? I don’t think so!!! I strongly believe that marriages are manmade and to make it a Heaven or a Hell lies in your hands. Life after marriage can be compared to rowing a boat! If you maintain a balance, you would have a pleasant ride; lose the balance and be sure to drown. So, how do you maintain balance? Well, that’s very simple. A combination of immense love, unshakeable trust and strong understanding is the success formula. Anyone can be a husband or a wife but to being a good husband or a wife can make a large difference to the relationship.
A trademark of your life, a purpose for living, and your own flesh and blood is of course your children. A smile on their face, a spark in their eyes and a tinge of excitement in their words: What else can a mother ask for?To give birth and bring up a child with so much of love and affection is what all mothers would crave for.
Imagine a life with your husband and without your children… Think it is not possible? Now imagine a life with your children and without your husband? Not possible again? But there could be some unfortunate situations where you will have to choose between the two.
As we progress further in all fields, there is also a huge increase in the percentage of divorce. A broken marriage leaves too many broken hearts.
One Side of the Story
Does your husband physically abuse you or your children? One way of solving the problem is to file for a divorce and walk away with your child, thinking that you can live happily. But, can you? Memories can play a hard trick on you. You might also be weighed down by financial constraints. Does that mean you should let your child suffer to save your marriage? I don’t think so.
The solutions to these problems vary from individual to individual. Discussing about your life to your friends can help you lessen your sorrow but do not be confused by others opinions and suggestions. Think for yourself. There can be no one who knows your problems and what you want out of life, better than you. It is your foremost duty to take care of your children and protect them as a mother. It is also a part of your life to love your husband.
There are few points that can be tried prior to filing a divorce such as
- Try to discuss the problem with your husband
- Try to listen to his problems. Only then you would be able to understand the root cause and take measures to solve the issue.
- Get his consent and take him to a professional counsellor
- And most important of all, assure him of your love and support in reforming himself
This should be enough to make him understand his mistakes. If all this doesn’t work, then you might have to take a brave decision and choose between your marriage and your children.
The Road Ahead
The only possible option left at this point might be to decide on your divorce. The saying “Think twice before you act”, goes well with the situation. Although you might love your husband so much and know the reason behind his problem, it does not in any way reduce the sufferings of your children due to his behaviour. After all, it is you who gave them the life they are now living. It is your responsibility to take care of them till they attain a stage where they can take care of themselves. You cannot withdraw from your lifetime responsibility, can you? When considered fact wise, your children are someone who cannot help themselves and live on their own. They need support and they need you. What they expect is complete love, care and affection and that is all there is to it. There should be someone to mould them into a good citizen, trustworthy person and above all a good human being and who can it be if not you?
The Last Word
Repenting over a decision that you have made in the past is like crying over spilt milk. Give yourself all the time before you make that final call. After all, it is your life. And none other than you know better on what you want out of your life.
