‘Trial Separation is a must before divorce.’ The strength of this statement lies in the fact that divorce being an intensely painful process requires some sort of a gestation period to allow the cooling down of heightened emotions. The pain inflicted on the family members by the intensified emotions before and after the divorce takes around one to three years to subside.
The numbers of people subject to such divorced-caused pain are quite high for, in the
Trial separation is a healing process. The time spent apart hopefully helps many couples rediscover their lost feelings for each other. This period is also an experimental period when either of the partners weighs the possibility of a life after divorce by experiencing the emotional, physical and financial stress of staying apart.
At the end of the pre-decided period, if the partners realise that separating is a not a possibility and the uncertain life without the existence of the other is positively painful, then counselling saves the marriage.
Necessity of a Trial Separation
The significant impact of emotions on health was proved by the results of ‘British General Household Survey.’ The death rates of divorced women was 21% more in comparison to women who remained married; and divorced men aged 20 to 60 had a 70 to 100% increase in death rate compared to married men.
Trial Separation for the Sake of Children
One out of three marriages fails in
Another strange but true fact is that infants of lone parents are 7 times more prone to SID (sudden Infant Death) when compared to infants born in the house of married couples staying together. These are the results of a survey conducted in
When a divorce is so cruel in its effects on children, making marriages work is not only a good but necessary option too. But a point that is repeatedly stressed is that trial separations must be sought in the shelter offered by separation agreements.
Entering into Separation Agreement until Remarriage
Separation agreements are valid till a divorce that should take place prior to a remarriage.
Some couples know divorce is imminent, but prefer to stay apart forming separation agreements for financial constraints, or they require the medical cover given by the company of the spouse. These couples enter into separation agreements till they either remarry or make alternate arrangements. Research has, however, proved that well-educated women with children tend to search for other viable options to solve their difficulties while childless women prefer to remarry.
Some people wrongly believe that trial separations after entering into separation agreements just work in doubling the emotional and financial costs of a divorce. They feel that the couple has experienced the pain of staying apart during the trial separation period and divorce is a re-experience of the same pain. The financial costs also appear doubled; once either of the partners pays the solicitors before entering into an agreement and the second payment occurs while filing for a divorce.
But they have been proved wrong, for after the varied aspects involved in a separation have been taken care of, divorce just proves to be an administrative issue and nothing more. A separation agreement, in fact, effectively reduces the pain associated with a divorce. The couple have already split up their assets. The financial issue that normally proves to be the major cause for bitterness among divorcing couples is amicably negotiated. With the peaceful settlement of this aspect, divorce becomes a less painful and less costly affair.
Trial separation periods have been successful for they help couple reconcile, or they help the partners to amicably divorce without fighting away their fortunes in the courtroom, for many opt for a divorce in haste and enter into contested divorces depleting family fortunes fighting court battles.
