While contesting a divorce, parents often get so wrapped up in their personal conflict that they often fail to take cognizance of the impact that this incident will have on the psyche of their progeny. As is natural and expected, the consequences of a divorce for an adult tend to be very different from those to which a child is exposed to. In case of the children, their concerns are often very delicate and subtle when observed from an adult perspective, which no doubt hold mammoth relevance in their personal world, often getting coloured by their unrestricted and undisciplined imagination. However, one simply can not deny the issues relevant to a child, just because they seem flaky and infantile. A divorce surely affects the miniature world of a child, which often has far reaching ramifications, so far as the physical and psychological development of a child is concerned. Infact, the psychologists, sociologists and legal experts are evincing an unprecedented interest in the effects of a divorce on a child. The modern judicial system is increasingly gearing up to recognize the innocent concerns of a child exposed to a situation of marital conflict. Novel approaches and concepts are being proposed to soften the experience of a divorce for a child. This article attempts to delve on the various situations, which a child may have to face, following a parental divorce.
Splitting up Siblings in the Divorce
During the divorce proceedings, some parents get so carried away by their game of scoring points over each other that they end up dividing their children along with other assets and liabilities. The post divorce stress sometimes dulls the parenting abilities of the individuals to such an extent that children simply get ignored. Losing a parent following a divorce is often extremely stressful for a child. Added to it, the loss of a sibling further aggravates his/her sense of grief and pain. In a post divorce scenario, the biggest problem that a child faces is his/her sense of loneliness and isolation. He badly feels the need for someone who shares his world of goblins, gnomes, demons and fairies. At such times, a sibling may prove to be a vital source of understanding. While parents are busy, coming to terms with their grief, siblings often support each other by sharing their doubts and fears. Splitting up the siblings in the divorce can deprive your child of a source of reassurance on which he/she can rely in these tough times. Siblings, if allowed to stay together can give each other a sense of stability and routine by sharing the day today activities like playing, studying and growing up together.
Nesting
Nesting is a new concept in which the children continue to live in the family home while the parents take turns living with them. Such an arrangement is no doubt in the best interests of the children as it does not disrupt their sense of continuity and routine. It enables them to benefit from the love and care of both the parents, without depriving them of the environment to which they are used to. Nesting sensitizes the parents to the fact that how difficult is it for a child to shuffle between two households. Parents opting for nesting certainly have their children as their first priority. Yet, it is a fact that very few parents go for it. In addition, it may become impossible for a parent to continue with this arrangement, once he/she remarries.
Divorce, Children and Grandparents
In bitterly contested acrimonious divorces, depriving the grandparents the access to kids often becomes a way of punishing the other spouse. While doing so, parents often tend to ignore the fact that by doing so, they are infact hampering the immediate and long term interests of their kids. Grandparents can often act as an important stabilizing factor in the lives of the kids in these trying times. Various studies over the years have authenticated that grandparents are often a source of unconditional love and understanding. Also during and after a divorce, children need the love and support of both the parents as well as the extended family to escape the negative fall out of such an experience.
Divorce, Children and Pets
In most of the households, the family pet is considered an undeniable member of the family. In recent years, a number of divorce hearings center around the issue that,” who gets the custody of the pet?” Children are often attached to their pets and are unwilling to loose them in case of a divorce. In the last few years in the
