When two people meet each other, become friends and fall in love, everything about the other person seems so perfect. They relish every moment they spend with each other that they decide to make it permanent and celebrate this beautiful union in marriage. A few days later, the differences start to show, a few months later the fights surface and a few years later they wonder how they even fell in love in the first place. They start to detest every moment they spend together and subsequently end the relationship through divorce.
A common occurrence these days, it make us wonder if divorce is the only solution. The increasing divorce rates in today’s society make us question, if they were able to love the same person a few years ago, isn’t it possible to fall in love with him again? In order to answer this question, we need to first analyse the reasons why disenchantment sets in.
When Love Turns to Hatred
Men and women have so much in common yet they’re so different from each other. Several studies have been done to understand these differences and numerous books have been published on this topic. What a man sees as significant may be of little or no importance to a woman and vice versa.
If you were to give a group of men and women a simple sentence and ask them what it means, chances are, every man would come up with the same meaning. Each woman however would interpret the same sentence in hundred different ways.
The list of differences between the sexes is endless. These begin to show when two people get married and start living together. There is a constant clash of interests and opinions. When they don’t take any step to reconcile these differences, it leads to a break-up. Difference of opinion being one, the other major reasons for divorce could be adultery, financial stress and abusive partners.
Exploring the Alternatives
Divorce is not the solution. The process of divorce itself is more painful and taxing than being married. It’s exhausting for both partners in terms of emotions, finance and time. So even before you consider this, meet a marriage counsellor and try to work out the differences. If it does not work, go in for a separation so that you get a feel of how life would be without your partner. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder and there may be chances of reconciliation.
In a separation, a mutual agreement is drafted with the help of a solicitor regarding the custody of children, sharing of financial assets and responsibilities, etc. This saves the cost and time involved in divorce while providing an opportunity to revive the relationship at your will. However, this option rules out the immediate possibility of entering into a new relationship and/or remarriage.
The Inevitable
If neither of you are interested in continuing the relationship, even after a separation, then divorce is the last resort. In order for the court to sanction a divorce, your will have to establish one of the following:
- Adultery: Your need to prove that your spouse has committed adultery and you have not lived with him/her for more than six months, since you came to know about it.
- Unreasonable Behaviour: Your spouse had been abusive towards you and/or has used drugs in the past six months and you cannot tolerate them any longer.
- Desertion: Your spouse has deserted you without a reasonable motive or explanation for more than two years.
- Two Years’ Separation: You and your spouse have been separated for at least two years and your spouse does not contest your decision for divorce.
- Five Years’ Separation: You have not lived with your spouse for more than five years. This does not require your spouse’s consent to your decision.
The process of divorce could drain you of energy as well as finances. Needless to say, it should be the last option. Even after deciding on a divorce, it is wise to reach an amicable agreement with your spouse. Otherwise the process could take a lot of time and the differences could breed discontent and unhappiness for the entire family.
