Everyone dreams of a future which has a flourishing career, a happy family and no worries whatsoever. But things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. In today’s world there are increasing number of instances where single parents, be it mother or father, are raising families on their own.
In a single parent scenario, one person is suddenly burdened with the collective responsibility shared by the two of them separately under the normal circumstances. The growing number of such cases is by no means indicative of the situation being an easy one.
There are many factors leading to such a situation presenting itself like divorce, desertion, death or design. Some of these are out of choice and some totally unforeseen. Being a single parent is one of the toughest challenges a parent has to face. The problem is also aggravated by the fact that most of the circumstances leading up to this sort of a situation arising itself are quite unfortunate. These unsettling reasons leave the parent concerned with having to deal with mental, emotional, financial and legal issues besides being thrust into a situation of being solely responsible for his children.
Being a single father is as tough as being a single mother, if not tougher. The main reason for this is the fact that traditionally managing home and children is a woman’s domain. A mother overall is more in touch with the children and understands their needs and characters better. A man is usually in charge of the economic front. Thus a father can feel overwhelmed at the prospect of daily chores like buying grocery, getting the kids ready for school, laundry, cooking food etc. All this at times is also accompanied with financial crises that may arise out of losing an extra income and having to pay the partner alimony or maintenance.
Though it is a difficult situation for a father to be in but it is not impossible. After all, being a parent nothing is more important than having your child with you and nothing more inspiring than their love for you. All one needs at a time like this is a little time management, discipline and a good support structure. Here are some tips all single fathers can adopt to ease into the new situation they find themselves in:
- Emotional Issues: Deal with the emotional issues first. Forgive if not forget the grudges you hold against your absent partner, if any. Talk out the whole thing with your kids. Be open about it and reassure them that it is not their fault. Go for collective therapy sessions if need be.
- Move on: After the initial therapy sessions, move on. Make the most of what you have. In absence of money give them your love and time and support. Be the best parent possible to the best of your abilities.
- Set up an Order: Set up your own order of things that will make various tasks like laundry and grocery shopping, cooking etc. easier to accomplish. Involve your children in them so they feel in charge and have a sense of belonging.
- Rituals and Routine: Children at this time need stability and security. Developing a daily routine of simple things like picnic every Sunday, eating dinner together every night, reading a storybook every night before sleeping become activities a child looks forward to and count on to occur regularly.
- Be Consistent: Create realistic rules and a standard of discipline. Kids like and need a structure. You just need to put it in front of them clearly and then maintain it. They will learn what to expect from you and what do you expect from them.
- Develop a Support Network: Surround yourself and your children with people, friends and family you know and trust. Biological or not, create your own family who can provide them with the same kind of love, support and inspiration as a traditional family. It can also be their teacher, coach or a cleric. Anyone whom you’d want to be part of their life and they feel connected to.
- Wake up Early: it may sound bizarre, but it is worth losing one’s sleep over. Wake up a little early and utilize that time as your me-time that you can spend alone doing your own things like reading, listening to music, exercising or even finishing some work like paying bills, cleaning etc.
All said and done, one has to remember that they are your children and they will always love you. The challenge of being a single father may be big but it is not insurmountable and at the end of it, it’s all worth it.
