Marital relationships have undergone a huge change in the past few years. People these days have a greater choice of how they can live their lives, which has given rise to more individualistic ideals. People are increasingly becoming self-sufficient and financially independent and a lack of family structure no longer bears a social stigma. Change of individual outlook and society’s role in our lives coupled with other socio-economic factors has lead to high divorce rates.
Most men and women tend to lead independent lifestyles even within their marriage. The society today lays emphasis on personal growth, personal satisfaction, and individual rights and choice. These ideals constantly conflict with the traditional culture of commitment, values, responsibility, and compromise. While there are several reasons why married couples decide to dissolve their marriage and take the path towards divorce, we will analyse the top five reasons why couples tend to divorce.
Top 5 Causes of Divorce
· Extramarital Affairs: Recent studies have indicated that as many as 17% of the marriages break because of an extramarital affair. In addition, 22% of the married and 14% of the married women admitted to having cheated on their spouses. The very idea of a third person in a marriage can make the non-cheating spouse extremely betrayed.
The very thought of your loved one being with someone else can be shattering. Dealing with an extramarital affair can be life-changing event for some and most couples find this issue too complicated to even discuss. The cheating spouse may feel hurt because he or she may have indulged in an extramarital relationship because of some inherent problem in the marriage. Therefore, feelings of confusion and misdirection are bound to engulf his or her mind.
On the other hand, the non-cheating spouse may feel hurt because of loss of trust in the marriage and is likely to fear lack of confidence in his or her spouse in the future. Even when the couples try to work out their differences in such cases to give marriage a second chance, the fact that one spouse has engaged in extramarital sex can make things exceedingly difficult. It has been investigated that the impact of extramarital sex is on divorce is twice as large as any other marital issue.
· Physical Abuse: Any form of abuse can have detrimental effects on the person being abused. These effects are likely to have a long-term effect on the social, mental, and physical well being of the individual. Physical abuse can be described as abuse that involves torture to the body. The scars and pain of physical abuse stretches far beyond the physical body. A marriage that involves physical abuse would in essence not be a marriage because marriage is about loving, caring, and affection. However, the abuser in the marriage tends to view marriage as a game of control.
If the victim of physical abuse remains subdued for a long time, physical abuse can even lead to death of the victim. The mental agony of staying in an abusive marriage can give rise to serious mental conditions. In fact, according to recent studies, constant physical abuse can lead to fear, tension, hallucinations, depression, and psychological dependency. Counselling is also not advised in cases of physical abuse counselling and divorce is the only solution.
· Emotional Abuse: Emotional abuse in a marriage can be just as torturous as physical abuse. In fact, some people argue that emotional abuse can have a far more devastating effect on a person’s wellness than physical abuse because the abuser targets the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence in an emotional abuse.
Emotionally abusive relationships can cause enormous emotional damage to the victim because of the constant fear of rejection from the abuser. The abuser typically tries to find fault and criticise any activity of the victim with a deliberate purpose of hurting the victim. In most cases, the abuser may pass derogatory remarks about the victim’s family and friends and try to control the victim. Not many abusers are willing to accept that there is a problem with their behaviour. Therefore, the victims tend to opt for a divorce to ease their pain.
· Incompatible Personalities: Many people marry in haste or are too young when they get married. Over a period of time, people tend to discover a lot of personality traits about each other that they were not aware of initially or during the courtship period. Many life-changing events can also change people’s personalities. When two married people discover that they are no longer compatible, they want to opt for divorce rather than staying in an unhappy marriage. Life expectancy of people has increased significantly and people tend to feel that they can still find their true love after a divorce.
· Infertility: Infertility can create an emotional upheaval in a marriage. This can especially be the case when one of the partners has a desperate desire to become a mother or a father. Sheer desperation of the situation can bring about a distance in the couples where marriage may cease to make sense anymore. Many times, not being able to deal with the situation rather than the situation itself makes couple reach out for a divorce.
