A couple might file for divorce on various grounds such as adultery, personal differences or lack of interest in the marriage. Researchers claim that most divorces are unnecessary and can be easily avoided with a little effort.
Couples on the verge of a divorce are invariably under the misconception that they will go on to find greater happiness. Sadly, that isn’t necessarily true.
Divorce – Is It Really The Answer?
Divorce - is it Really the Answer?
Sally and Tom divorced after five years of marriage on grounds of irreconcilable differences. She was unhappy because he spent more time at work and he felt that she was not supportive of his professional aspirations. Although the divorce put an end to their quarrels, it did not provide peace of mind. They both felt lonely and unhappy. He was unable to give his best at work while she sought medical help for depression. Instead of ending their emotional upheaval, it gave rise to fresh tensions.
In fact, over 75% of divorcees feel they made a wrong choice. A visit to web forums or blogs on divorce will throw further light on this. Most divorcees reveal that divorce not only failed to restore their happiness but increased tensions in many new ways. Given a choice, they would like to reverse their decision. On the contrary, couples who braved the difficult times together were able to experience the fruits of their efforts –their marriage had never been happier.
Divorce – Know What You’re Getting Into
Sometimes, the decision to divorce is taken in a fit of rage when a person lacks clarity of thought. At that moment, the numerous implications of divorce aren’t considered.
There are many negative aspects to divorce which one should be prepared for:
1. Emotional Distress:
- Even a divorce through mutual consent isn’t pain-free. It’s tough to let go of memories and time spent together. Gifts you may have given one another, occasions such as Christmas and birthdays, will increase the sense of loneliness, leading to depression or even regret.
- The disappointment and sense of rejection could hinder your performance at work.
- Your self esteem may be hit rather badly. You may even be apprehensive about getting involved in a new relationship.
2. Financial Stress:
- The process of divorce could cost you a fortune.
- Financial commitments such as mortgages, which may have been shared by your spouse, now have to be borne solely by you.
- You may have abandoned a successful career to raise children and will now bear the brunt of not enough savings/resources to fall back on.
3. Raising Children:
In a divorce, children get affected the most. They are the actual victims of their parents’ decision to divorce.
- The confusion caused by fighting and divorce in the family can affect them leading to juvenile delinquency.
- It could make them introverts and poor in studies, lower their confidence level or even lead them astray to vices like drugs, alcohol and violence.
- Divorce can have long-lasting psychological effects on children affecting their own married life in the future. They could turn out to be physically or mentally abusive as partners.
It would certainly help to weigh the pros and cons very seriously before rushing into a divorce. In the absence of serious issues such as abuse or infidelity, you may not wish to jeopardize the future of children and even yourself by considering divorce. While the grass may seem greener on the other side, do remember, every cloud also has a silver lining.
