Men have been conditioned, through the ages, into believing that being physically stronger, that they were required to take decisions for those who depended on them. So man took it upon himself to exercise his physical strength outside his home to provide worldly goods, comforts and protection for his family. So, naturally, the woman of the house was required to ensure the happiness of the family within the four walls of the home.
This state of unquestioned bliss continued for many centuries because of the requirement of physical toil on the part of both husband and wife in order to sustain the family. Plenty of spare time, lack of other avenues (like travel, fun, internet etc.) and bleak economic conditions ensured that the partners invested their time and energy in the family. Divorce was a luxury of the rich and powerful. It was easier to have a long term secret affair, without being discovered. So the comparatively few instances of divorce were filed mostly by men, notorious for their lust of power, greed and for young partners.
In recent times, though it is the women who make the first move towards an official divorce, the reasons for the divorce are mostly made possible by men. Since the male has always been looking out for fresh conquests and challenges, to satiate his thirst for variety, this inherent nature is very difficult to subdue. He is always on the lookout for the perfect mate either to keep his home or to participate in his mental and physical fantasies (someone to complement his superiority and to have great sex with, all the time). This partner is expected to be subservient and to compliment his lifestyle and personality. Dissenting partners, who do not satisfy or will not tolerate this inner thirst, cease to share their lives.
When each passing day or event, in his married life discounts these expectations, he feels stifled. The modern day relationships, in order to survive, also require substantial investment of time and energy by the male. There occurs a conflict between the traditional role as a provider for the family and the new required role of sharing in the perceived demeaning or less manly chores of the family (traditionally attended to, exclusively by women) or heeding to the less experienced female partner. The man feels suffocated by the relationship, at this point.
The genetic engineering of the male has been wired to seek out the best physically endowed female for ensuring the continuity of the human species. It made sense in an era of high mortality and almost nil medical facilities, compared to modern standards. However this instinct which surfaces now and then, in most men at the time of seeking out their life partner, does not disappear but is controlled for a large part of the life span due to social restrictions and morals.
With the advent of instant products, instant relationships and instant breakups and the fast pace of life, society watches the loosening of its social controls, mutely. That is tantamount to social sanction for any kind of activity irrespective of its consequences. When there is no disapproving glance or even the remotest of displeasure from society, men divorce women without bothering about the consequences. The cost of attaining the even more attractive woman or to fulfill the adventure of a fresh romance, is perceived to be less than the cost of artificially keeping up the semblance of marriage or paying for the divorce proceedings, alimony or the fact that the new relationship could be a nightmare come true. There is no point in reasoning, once the seeds of discontent are sown.
Then of course, there are the cases where the man tries his best to please his female life companion (both mentally and physically). She just does not reciprocate in the way that he expects it from her, though she may be doing her best to reciprocate in the only way that she knows. The difficulty in unlearning what she knows and relearning what he wants may just be too much for her. This can however be perceived as her unwillingness to satisfy him. The call for adventure begins in his mind and he is soon filing for divorce. There are also instances of cases where the female partner just does not accept his version of how things should be, because of her fixed ways or her upbringing and background. Soon they part ways too.
It is said that a woman having the same mental mould of his mother (sometimes even the physical features) appeals to a man. This leads to a constant subconscious evaluation of his wife’s qualities with that of his mother and to eventual disappointment. Same is the case with his first love. The first love of a man ignites his fantasies about an ideal life partner, because it is his first occurrence of this heavenly feeling of unfathomed love and his inexperience in dealing with the situation. Married to a different person, the impact of that first experience, simply does not allow him to let go of the past and reconcile with the present marriage. If this situation is not handled properly, by his wife, he sets out to recapture that feeling of his first love.
